Rain King

Hey!

You know what that fucking thing is? That’s a “GO” from the LA Weekly. The actual review won’t be out until tomorrow, but who even gives a shit!? It’s a forgone fucking conclusion at this point that it’s a great one; they don’t just give that bitch out to any old thing, that’s only for the Cream of the Crop, the Best of the Best, the King Shits of Fuck Mountain, works of actual MERIT (fuck an Oscar!).

You know when we last received a “GO”? A year ago. For what? For Hamlet, assholes! You know what happened after we received that distinction? Sold out like a motherfucker! Sold out for three weeks straight.

You know how many weeks are left in our run, you pricks? Only two! So -act- -now- or act never because we’re Serious Fucking Business! We’re Fucking Champions! We faced an Infernal God-Damned Nightmare of a production and we conquered it like Motherfucking Vikings landing on the eastern shores of the British Isles! And now we’re being justly rewarded for our hard fucking work and it’s happening no matter what you do or say!

So do you want to be in the Circle of Victory with us, a Critically-Acclaimed, Award-Winning Theatre Company, or over there in the Corner of Shame, with all of the losers and cowards and naysayers and cretins and the feeble and the sickly and other persons of Low Reputation? The choice is yours, bitches!

Suck my dick!